Valuing Ourselves and Others

This week I decided to go through some things which are currently top of mind in my world and are the culmination of many journeys over the last couple of years for myself and my family. These were things I learned about myself or weaknesses and strengths I found where I didn’t know they existed. I hope it provides not only a little insight into our world, but also a little value. I tend to be a little verbose, so bear with me and my novels this week.

Stay at Home Mom – to Career Mom

I think most of you know how headstrong and even stubborn I generally am (Mom, you can stop nodding your head and chuckling now ;)) especially when it comes to trying new things or altering my world a little bit. In July of last year, as most of you know, I made a pretty bold move and went from being a working at home mom to diving head first into the full time job market.

What you probably don’t know, is how terrified I was and unsure of myself. Although I spent 10+ years doing websites, and computer stuff, I’d never done them at a high level. I was very unsure of how my skills would translate into a full time job. I always picked my clients, and I had pretty deep influence about what projects I did or didn’t do. That was all about to change….

Enter the advertising Agency…

Okay, most of us equate advertising agency to serious business. These are the high end guys who do big stuff for big money. When I went in for my interview, I got my first taste of it. I was scheduled to have an interview with their Technical Director and ended up being throw into a series of three interviews with two VPs of the company. As I stepped into their fancy offices and went through my interview process, I wasn’t nervous but nagging at the back of my head was self-doubt and worry. Was I in the right place? This is high-end development and design. Not the closet hack I was. When one of my interviewers checked my resume for what college I attended and I said “none”, I thought for sure I was done for.

But, I got called back for another round of interviews. This time they were looking at me for a senior level position: Uh, oh – the stakes just got higher. Not only was I going to have to perform, but I was going to have to perform at a higher level in an environment I was still feeling like was over my head. Then they wanted to know how I was towards people. I was honest and said “I’m brutally honest and sometimes that rubs people the wrong way.” That traveled from one interviewer to the next, and I thought “uh-oh”.

During this whole time, I had another interview process going and was negotiating my salary range with an offer already on the table. Only problem was, the title would have been a step down even if the pay was there. But, I knew I could do the job blindfolded…

Then came the phone call..

I was being offered a position with the advertising agency as a Senior Interactive Engineer. WHOA, cool, but now what? They saw something in me I couldn’t quite see and now I have to try and pull off the impossible. I’m no Senior Interactive Engineer – even the title was intimidating. I felt like I’d cheated the system. All these guys who go to college for years and years to get here, and here’s me – hack at home and mostly playing around jumping into a career. Of course I accepted, I mean who turns away an opportunity to work at an ad agency? But, I was VERY nervous I wouldn’t be able to pull it off. I had no idea whether or not my “hacking” would truly translate into this world but I knew if I could get a year at an ad agency under my belt, doors would open up for me. So – I accepted, and remained terrified.

Whoa Nelly

Talk about a baptism by fire. Within the first week I was put on the agencies biggest. project. ever. No pressure huh? This was the make or break it job. These big marketing dudes who were way out of my league were entrusting an awful lot to a two-bit hack like me. By week two they dumped me in to client meetings where I was presenting ideas and recommending technologies. WHOA, me? I am just a mom who plays on the web. Are you SURE you want me telling your big clients who pay you big money what to do? I mean I could be wrong – there are lots and lots of ways to do things. What if they listen to me and it backfires? What if I FAIL?

Okay Deep Breaths, Woo…

Okay so this self-doubt kept looming in my mind and I couldn’t for the life of me fathom why someone would entrust so much to my care, especially considering other than a resume, they’d never seen what I could do. Seemed like an awful lot of faith for someone untested and unproven. But, I went along with it. I put on my very best brave face and answered questions to the best of my ability (but added lots of caveats) and did my very best. I did what I always do; I spoke up, said things, and was far more outspoken and bold than I felt inside. And you know what I learned?

We’re All Equals

Yep, that’s it. We’re all equal in this world. All of those people I perceived as in a different world or class than me AREN’T. We’re all on the same playing field. Those fancy marketers and VPs are now some of my very good friends and they make mistakes, have problems, and have fears – JUST LIKE ME. They value my expertise and feel lucky to have found me just as I value theirs. We all have different sets of talents and experiences; those are the things which make each of us unique. When we start to put people on a pedestal or believe they (or we) are superior, we’re doing them and ourselves a deep injustice.


Think of it like a teeter-totter (yeah, yeah I know it’s really called a see-saw): If I’m the one at the top, up on my pedestal, I’m just sitting there – dangling. I can’t move until whoever is at the bottom pushes their legs up. The same goes for them when I’m down low. It’s a symbiotic relationship of bouncing up and down to try and make the thing work. My favorite point is the middle. You know, when the two of you are both eye to eye and smiling, in perfect balance. In that moment, you both feel and experience the same thing but couldn’t have done it without one another.

Life is kind of like that. We’re all at different stages and places on the teeter totter, each moment as important as the last. From the highest to the lowest, each part of that journey is valuable and we’re always in perpetual motion. We all have different styles of pumping those legs, but together – we can find the middle. Most importantly, we ALL have value. We are ALL worth it and we should always remember that.

The Do unto Others angle

“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” - Matthew 25:40

This scripture has always stuck with me (okay mom, you can close the dropped jaw now.. Yup I really do remember scriptures ;)). Although there is a spiritual meaning and connotation, there is a profound every day meaning. We are all connected, humanity is deeply interwoven. Is it six degrees of separation between you and every other person on this planet? Six people connect you to every other person on this planet. What you do makes a difference. Send out goodness, you’ll get goodness. Never let anyone else make you feel intimidated or small because you’re not. You matter, I matter, and it matters, all of it.