Today’s message is a little shorter than the others as it kind of stands on it’s own legs.
Going Against the Grain & Breaking the Mold
You know when I hear both of those things, they sound like super uncomfortable things. Breaking a mold from the inside out is no easy feat and when it worked so well, why would you want to.
Going against the grain is just itchy and awkward.
So if it’s easier to go with the flow, or stay within the mold, why would we want to?
Similar to Wednesday, that’s how we grow. Doing something different or outside of what we normally do gives us new experiences and talents as well as lets us find our own strengths and weaknesses.
We want our children to go through failures so they can find strength, and yet as adults sometimes we’re resistant to change or do new things.
We’re never too old OR too set in our ways to learn. It’s never too late to change a way of thinking, to learn a new skill, to break a habit, or to try something new.
And, it’s okay to fail. Out of failure comes success, but success cannot come without failure. Each failure we have influences and helps mold future successes.
Quote for today:
“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
And one more for good measure:
“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” – Leo Tolstoy
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Train Up a Child
Parenthood
The last year I think I’ve learned more about parenthood than all of them combined, primarily because I’m no longer a full-time parent and have become a working parent. I went from being almost completely in the driver’s seat, to backseat driving, to letting my dearest husband take the reins. I’m proud of the parent he’s becoming. Most of you don’t know this, but a year ago he swore he was not the “stay at home dad” type. We started with daycare and due to some unforeseen circumstances and situational events, he became a full time stay at home dad AND he’s good at it. He wouldn’t give it up for the world. He’s taught me some things; I’ve let him in on a few secrets and learned how to let more than a few things go. It’s working! He’s filling in gaps I could never fill and rounding out things I began and together we’re both growing. It’s awesome.
Values Matter
Let’s start this one with a scripture quote, one we are all familiar with since Mom used it often:
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
My first thought: Whoever wrote that never had a teenage daughter who wanted to get a nose piercing or an adult with tattoos ;). But there is truth underneath it yet. The CORE values we teach our children stick with them through adulthood. The day to day personalities or hopes we had: don’t. Our children are going to be their own people, individuals. This is how it should be.
As parents, much of what we take issue with is on the surface, and is always in flux. These elements do not define our children at the core but are merely components of a complex puzzle.
As I’ve watched my daughter join the ranks of adulthood, I’m often left scratching my head at her behaviors or choices and they certainly aren’t always what I hoped for her, just as mine are not what my parents hoped. But at the core, I’m proud of the person she is. She is kind and giving, loving to her peers, and loyal. At the core of her being the values she was taught, stuck. Just as the core values my parents taught stuck, and so on and so forth.
Most importantly here is to lead by example. Our children pick up on even the subtlest of behaviors and cues. If we do not believe in what we teach them or practice it ourselves; neither will they.
Mistakes Happen
Raise your hand if you’re perfect and never ever made a mistake as a parent.
No hands? Anybody?
Right, we’re not perfect. We’re far from it. The difference in my parenting style from my first one to my last is STAGGERING and I’m still learning and adapting. I’ve made loads of mistakes, some big and some small. I hope I’ve learned from most of them but I know I’m not done making them.
I LOVE this quote:
“Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.” – Russell Baker
I don’t WANT my children to turn out like me or become me; I WANT them to become better. I want them to take all the knowledge I’ve amassed and shared and improve upon it. I want them to take the pieces that were useful and toss out all the ones which weren’t.
AND – here is the really important part.
I WANT THEM TO FAIL.
What? Fail? No, no, no that’s just not right our kids need to be successful.
Yes they do, but in all things balance. You cannot know success without failure. Some of my most important and most memorable lessons were learned when I failed at something or made a big mistake, as I’m sure each and every one of you can recall a struggle which strengthened you as a person.
It’s okay to let your kids fail, it’s okay to let them make mistakes. That’s how they learn. The bigger the mistake, the bigger the lesson.
It is VERY hard to watch our kids squirm and flounder through life and not want to fix it for them. But we shouldn’t, we mustn’t do this. They need to do it for themselves so they can learn the skills they need to pass on to their kids, and so on and so forth.
I remember when one of the younger boys was a baby. He was floundering on the floor WAILING because he scooted himself backwards into the wall and had not yet figured out how to move himself forward. So, big sister (me) naturally grabbed him by his arms and pulled him back to the middle of the floor. Mom immediately scolded me and while I was shocked for a minute, her words rung true. “If you always do it for him, he’ll never learn to crawl forward on his own.”
Our kids have to crawl, the walk, then run and they have to struggle through all of it, sometimes wailing and screaming along the way. We as parents, have to watch anxiously from the sidelines giving gentle coaxing and encouragement along the way.
Popcorn anyone? It’s bound to go into overtime most days….
The last year I think I’ve learned more about parenthood than all of them combined, primarily because I’m no longer a full-time parent and have become a working parent. I went from being almost completely in the driver’s seat, to backseat driving, to letting my dearest husband take the reins. I’m proud of the parent he’s becoming. Most of you don’t know this, but a year ago he swore he was not the “stay at home dad” type. We started with daycare and due to some unforeseen circumstances and situational events, he became a full time stay at home dad AND he’s good at it. He wouldn’t give it up for the world. He’s taught me some things; I’ve let him in on a few secrets and learned how to let more than a few things go. It’s working! He’s filling in gaps I could never fill and rounding out things I began and together we’re both growing. It’s awesome.
Values Matter
Let’s start this one with a scripture quote, one we are all familiar with since Mom used it often:
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
My first thought: Whoever wrote that never had a teenage daughter who wanted to get a nose piercing or an adult with tattoos ;). But there is truth underneath it yet. The CORE values we teach our children stick with them through adulthood. The day to day personalities or hopes we had: don’t. Our children are going to be their own people, individuals. This is how it should be.
As parents, much of what we take issue with is on the surface, and is always in flux. These elements do not define our children at the core but are merely components of a complex puzzle.
As I’ve watched my daughter join the ranks of adulthood, I’m often left scratching my head at her behaviors or choices and they certainly aren’t always what I hoped for her, just as mine are not what my parents hoped. But at the core, I’m proud of the person she is. She is kind and giving, loving to her peers, and loyal. At the core of her being the values she was taught, stuck. Just as the core values my parents taught stuck, and so on and so forth.
Most importantly here is to lead by example. Our children pick up on even the subtlest of behaviors and cues. If we do not believe in what we teach them or practice it ourselves; neither will they.
Mistakes Happen
Raise your hand if you’re perfect and never ever made a mistake as a parent.
No hands? Anybody?
Right, we’re not perfect. We’re far from it. The difference in my parenting style from my first one to my last is STAGGERING and I’m still learning and adapting. I’ve made loads of mistakes, some big and some small. I hope I’ve learned from most of them but I know I’m not done making them.
I LOVE this quote:
“Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.” – Russell Baker
I don’t WANT my children to turn out like me or become me; I WANT them to become better. I want them to take all the knowledge I’ve amassed and shared and improve upon it. I want them to take the pieces that were useful and toss out all the ones which weren’t.
AND – here is the really important part.
I WANT THEM TO FAIL.
What? Fail? No, no, no that’s just not right our kids need to be successful.
Yes they do, but in all things balance. You cannot know success without failure. Some of my most important and most memorable lessons were learned when I failed at something or made a big mistake, as I’m sure each and every one of you can recall a struggle which strengthened you as a person.
It’s okay to let your kids fail, it’s okay to let them make mistakes. That’s how they learn. The bigger the mistake, the bigger the lesson.
It is VERY hard to watch our kids squirm and flounder through life and not want to fix it for them. But we shouldn’t, we mustn’t do this. They need to do it for themselves so they can learn the skills they need to pass on to their kids, and so on and so forth.
I remember when one of the younger boys was a baby. He was floundering on the floor WAILING because he scooted himself backwards into the wall and had not yet figured out how to move himself forward. So, big sister (me) naturally grabbed him by his arms and pulled him back to the middle of the floor. Mom immediately scolded me and while I was shocked for a minute, her words rung true. “If you always do it for him, he’ll never learn to crawl forward on his own.”
Our kids have to crawl, the walk, then run and they have to struggle through all of it, sometimes wailing and screaming along the way. We as parents, have to watch anxiously from the sidelines giving gentle coaxing and encouragement along the way.
Popcorn anyone? It’s bound to go into overtime most days….
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Discovering Hidden Talents
So, I’m going to be talking lots about my job this week. Why?
Because it occupies lots of my time and I’ve learned lots about myself
in the last year. The best life lessons
come from, well, LIFE: and this is mine.
Remember that Baptism
by Fire?
Yeah, the one where they threw me into oodles of stuff right out of the starting gate? It didn’t end there. Before I knew it I was wrapped up in all of the client calls, making decisions on high-end purchases and even dabbling into some of the financials and warning of budget implications. I was up to my elbows in the muck of this project and didn’t even realize it.
Yeah, the one where they threw me into oodles of stuff right out of the starting gate? It didn’t end there. Before I knew it I was wrapped up in all of the client calls, making decisions on high-end purchases and even dabbling into some of the financials and warning of budget implications. I was up to my elbows in the muck of this project and didn’t even realize it.
So – Senior
Interactive Engineer: What IS that
exactly?
It sounds super fancy and technical huh? What it really means is I develop websites at a little higher level than your entry level guys or in my case; I’ve been doing it longer. Also means I can help guide and influence those entry level guys and steer them towards good development by sharing my own experiences.
It sounds super fancy and technical huh? What it really means is I develop websites at a little higher level than your entry level guys or in my case; I’ve been doing it longer. Also means I can help guide and influence those entry level guys and steer them towards good development by sharing my own experiences.
It also means I play translator and interpret things like:
·
PHP is not an illicit drug, it’s a programming
language used by lots of website. It stands for Hypertext Pre-processor (and if
you want me to translate that, you’ll have to hit me up later to explain it).
·
.NET is also a programming language/environment
AND a domain extension like .com. A
website like Mixes.net is NOT build on a .net environment (it’s built on PHP, I
built it).
·
MySQL is only pronounced My S-Q-L by
rookies. The rest of us pronounce it “My
Sequel”.
Now you can speak a little geek, but enough of the geek
speak for now.
A Senior Interactive
Engineer is NOT:
·
A Project Manager
·
A Financial Advisor
·
A Decision Maker
·
A Client Person
·
A Technical Advisor
Senior Interactive Engineers are builders, we make
things. We’ve just been making them a
little longer. So why were they letting
me, the closet
do-everything-from-behind-a-computer-so-I-don’t-have-to-talk-to-anybody-person,
do all these things. Because I did it
without even realizing I had. I didn’t
know I could, and neither did they. I
just did what I always do, get stuff done.
They asked me to do stuff, I did stuff.
That’s what you’re supposed to do right?
In my freelancing days I took on clients who expected me to be something
different and I ended up usually morphing into something more.
What did I learn?
·
If you can manage a household effectively,
managing projects is a cakewalk in comparison. Plus add in juggling a bouncing
child or two on my lap while developing, project management to the MAX.
·
Budgets and financials were easy once you’ve
tried to pinch every last penny to stretch a super thin budget and tried to
find pennies where none exist. Plus I managed billing for my own clients. It’s even easier when the money is already
there and all you have to do is spend it or ask for more if you’ve run out.
·
When you’ve had to stare down a screaming three
year old who is adamant he WON’T go to bed and had to stick to your guns,
staring down a board room of decision makers is a breeze.
·
Consoling an emotional or irrational teenager
while trying to give them enough strength to find their own way is no easy
feat. Pushy Clients, psshh.. easy peasy.
·
Hacking up a Wii so your 4 year old doesn’t
scratch any more discs, yeah I’d say that qualifies me to help make decisions
on technology.
WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE
HERE. My best skills came from PARENTHOOD????
That’s right. My most
valuable skills I didn’t even put on my resume. I didn’t know they existed let alone were
the skills which would set me apart and open up more doors for me. My most
valuable skills came because I am a PARENT!
A few months back one of my clients was out for a technical
discussion and training session I was leading.
At the end of the day was a big dinner, which every other time I skipped
but since I was their main contact this time around, I attended. I was mingling with the client when a
coworker of mine walked over and said “Well have you figured out why she’s such
a good project manager yet?”. The client
gave a puzzled look, as did I, and my coworker shared “She has lots of kids,
isn’t it incredible?”.
It IS incredible,
and yet often undervalued, even by ourselves.
Parenthood is amazing and awesome and has taught me more about life,
myself, and more than any other experience or challenge I’ve ever been faced
with. We have lots of new parents in our
families and I hope you know how loved and appreciated you are, you are
creating the future problem solvers of society.
Parenthood is a very
tireless and thankless job. Some days
it’s all you can do just to get dressed amidst the chaos AND it’s a sacrifice,
in a big way. But remember, each of
those moments when you’re teaching your children, they are also teaching
you. You are learning skills you
probably never dreamed you had and you’re adapting in ways which DO benefit you
and your children. You matter, I matter,
and it matters, all of it.
And of course none of this would be complete without a
quote:
“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach
us what life is all about.” - Anon
Monday, June 11, 2012
Valuing Ourselves and Others
This week I decided to go through some things which are currently top of mind in my world and are the culmination of many journeys over the last couple of years for myself and my family. These were things I learned about myself or weaknesses and strengths I found where I didn’t know they existed. I hope it provides not only a little insight into our world, but also a little value. I tend to be a little verbose, so bear with me and my novels this week.
I think most of you know how headstrong and even stubborn I generally am (Mom, you can stop nodding your head and chuckling now ;)) especially when it comes to trying new things or altering my world a little bit. In July of last year, as most of you know, I made a pretty bold move and went from being a working at home mom to diving head first into the full time job market.
What you probably don’t know, is how terrified I was and unsure of myself. Although I spent 10+ years doing websites, and computer stuff, I’d never done them at a high level. I was very unsure of how my skills would translate into a full time job. I always picked my clients, and I had pretty deep influence about what projects I did or didn’t do. That was all about to change….
Okay, most of us equate advertising agency to serious business. These are the high end guys who do big stuff for big money. When I went in for my interview, I got my first taste of it. I was scheduled to have an interview with their Technical Director and ended up being throw into a series of three interviews with two VPs of the company. As I stepped into their fancy offices and went through my interview process, I wasn’t nervous but nagging at the back of my head was self-doubt and worry. Was I in the right place? This is high-end development and design. Not the closet hack I was. When one of my interviewers checked my resume for what college I attended and I said “none”, I thought for sure I was done for.
But, I got called back for another round of interviews. This time they were looking at me for a senior level position: Uh, oh – the stakes just got higher. Not only was I going to have to perform, but I was going to have to perform at a higher level in an environment I was still feeling like was over my head. Then they wanted to know how I was towards people. I was honest and said “I’m brutally honest and sometimes that rubs people the wrong way.” That traveled from one interviewer to the next, and I thought “uh-oh”.
During this whole time, I had another interview process going and was negotiating my salary range with an offer already on the table. Only problem was, the title would have been a step down even if the pay was there. But, I knew I could do the job blindfolded…
I was being offered a position with the advertising agency as a Senior Interactive Engineer. WHOA, cool, but now what? They saw something in me I couldn’t quite see and now I have to try and pull off the impossible. I’m no Senior Interactive Engineer – even the title was intimidating. I felt like I’d cheated the system. All these guys who go to college for years and years to get here, and here’s me – hack at home and mostly playing around jumping into a career. Of course I accepted, I mean who turns away an opportunity to work at an ad agency? But, I was VERY nervous I wouldn’t be able to pull it off. I had no idea whether or not my “hacking” would truly translate into this world but I knew if I could get a year at an ad agency under my belt, doors would open up for me. So – I accepted, and remained terrified.
Talk about a baptism by fire. Within the first week I was put on the agencies biggest. project. ever. No pressure huh? This was the make or break it job. These big marketing dudes who were way out of my league were entrusting an awful lot to a two-bit hack like me. By week two they dumped me in to client meetings where I was presenting ideas and recommending technologies. WHOA, me? I am just a mom who plays on the web. Are you SURE you want me telling your big clients who pay you big money what to do? I mean I could be wrong – there are lots and lots of ways to do things. What if they listen to me and it backfires? What if I FAIL?
Okay so this self-doubt kept looming in my mind and I couldn’t for the life of me fathom why someone would entrust so much to my care, especially considering other than a resume, they’d never seen what I could do. Seemed like an awful lot of faith for someone untested and unproven. But, I went along with it. I put on my very best brave face and answered questions to the best of my ability (but added lots of caveats) and did my very best. I did what I always do; I spoke up, said things, and was far more outspoken and bold than I felt inside. And you know what I learned?
Yep, that’s it. We’re all equal in this world. All of those people I perceived as in a different world or class than me AREN’T. We’re all on the same playing field. Those fancy marketers and VPs are now some of my very good friends and they make mistakes, have problems, and have fears – JUST LIKE ME. They value my expertise and feel lucky to have found me just as I value theirs. We all have different sets of talents and experiences; those are the things which make each of us unique. When we start to put people on a pedestal or believe they (or we) are superior, we’re doing them and ourselves a deep injustice.
Think of it like a teeter-totter (yeah, yeah I know it’s really called a see-saw): If I’m the one at the top, up on my pedestal, I’m just sitting there – dangling. I can’t move until whoever is at the bottom pushes their legs up. The same goes for them when I’m down low. It’s a symbiotic relationship of bouncing up and down to try and make the thing work. My favorite point is the middle. You know, when the two of you are both eye to eye and smiling, in perfect balance. In that moment, you both feel and experience the same thing but couldn’t have done it without one another.
Life is kind of like that. We’re all at different stages and places on the teeter totter, each moment as important as the last. From the highest to the lowest, each part of that journey is valuable and we’re always in perpetual motion. We all have different styles of pumping those legs, but together – we can find the middle. Most importantly, we ALL have value. We are ALL worth it and we should always remember that.
“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” - Matthew 25:40
This scripture has always stuck with me (okay mom, you can close the dropped jaw now.. Yup I really do remember scriptures ;)). Although there is a spiritual meaning and connotation, there is a profound every day meaning. We are all connected, humanity is deeply interwoven. Is it six degrees of separation between you and every other person on this planet? Six people connect you to every other person on this planet. What you do makes a difference. Send out goodness, you’ll get goodness. Never let anyone else make you feel intimidated or small because you’re not. You matter, I matter, and it matters, all of it.
Stay at Home Mom – to Career Mom
I think most of you know how headstrong and even stubborn I generally am (Mom, you can stop nodding your head and chuckling now ;)) especially when it comes to trying new things or altering my world a little bit. In July of last year, as most of you know, I made a pretty bold move and went from being a working at home mom to diving head first into the full time job market.
What you probably don’t know, is how terrified I was and unsure of myself. Although I spent 10+ years doing websites, and computer stuff, I’d never done them at a high level. I was very unsure of how my skills would translate into a full time job. I always picked my clients, and I had pretty deep influence about what projects I did or didn’t do. That was all about to change….
Enter the advertising Agency…
Okay, most of us equate advertising agency to serious business. These are the high end guys who do big stuff for big money. When I went in for my interview, I got my first taste of it. I was scheduled to have an interview with their Technical Director and ended up being throw into a series of three interviews with two VPs of the company. As I stepped into their fancy offices and went through my interview process, I wasn’t nervous but nagging at the back of my head was self-doubt and worry. Was I in the right place? This is high-end development and design. Not the closet hack I was. When one of my interviewers checked my resume for what college I attended and I said “none”, I thought for sure I was done for.
But, I got called back for another round of interviews. This time they were looking at me for a senior level position: Uh, oh – the stakes just got higher. Not only was I going to have to perform, but I was going to have to perform at a higher level in an environment I was still feeling like was over my head. Then they wanted to know how I was towards people. I was honest and said “I’m brutally honest and sometimes that rubs people the wrong way.” That traveled from one interviewer to the next, and I thought “uh-oh”.
During this whole time, I had another interview process going and was negotiating my salary range with an offer already on the table. Only problem was, the title would have been a step down even if the pay was there. But, I knew I could do the job blindfolded…
Then came the phone call..
I was being offered a position with the advertising agency as a Senior Interactive Engineer. WHOA, cool, but now what? They saw something in me I couldn’t quite see and now I have to try and pull off the impossible. I’m no Senior Interactive Engineer – even the title was intimidating. I felt like I’d cheated the system. All these guys who go to college for years and years to get here, and here’s me – hack at home and mostly playing around jumping into a career. Of course I accepted, I mean who turns away an opportunity to work at an ad agency? But, I was VERY nervous I wouldn’t be able to pull it off. I had no idea whether or not my “hacking” would truly translate into this world but I knew if I could get a year at an ad agency under my belt, doors would open up for me. So – I accepted, and remained terrified.
Whoa Nelly
Talk about a baptism by fire. Within the first week I was put on the agencies biggest. project. ever. No pressure huh? This was the make or break it job. These big marketing dudes who were way out of my league were entrusting an awful lot to a two-bit hack like me. By week two they dumped me in to client meetings where I was presenting ideas and recommending technologies. WHOA, me? I am just a mom who plays on the web. Are you SURE you want me telling your big clients who pay you big money what to do? I mean I could be wrong – there are lots and lots of ways to do things. What if they listen to me and it backfires? What if I FAIL?
Okay Deep Breaths, Woo…
Okay so this self-doubt kept looming in my mind and I couldn’t for the life of me fathom why someone would entrust so much to my care, especially considering other than a resume, they’d never seen what I could do. Seemed like an awful lot of faith for someone untested and unproven. But, I went along with it. I put on my very best brave face and answered questions to the best of my ability (but added lots of caveats) and did my very best. I did what I always do; I spoke up, said things, and was far more outspoken and bold than I felt inside. And you know what I learned?
We’re All Equals
Yep, that’s it. We’re all equal in this world. All of those people I perceived as in a different world or class than me AREN’T. We’re all on the same playing field. Those fancy marketers and VPs are now some of my very good friends and they make mistakes, have problems, and have fears – JUST LIKE ME. They value my expertise and feel lucky to have found me just as I value theirs. We all have different sets of talents and experiences; those are the things which make each of us unique. When we start to put people on a pedestal or believe they (or we) are superior, we’re doing them and ourselves a deep injustice.
Think of it like a teeter-totter (yeah, yeah I know it’s really called a see-saw): If I’m the one at the top, up on my pedestal, I’m just sitting there – dangling. I can’t move until whoever is at the bottom pushes their legs up. The same goes for them when I’m down low. It’s a symbiotic relationship of bouncing up and down to try and make the thing work. My favorite point is the middle. You know, when the two of you are both eye to eye and smiling, in perfect balance. In that moment, you both feel and experience the same thing but couldn’t have done it without one another.
Life is kind of like that. We’re all at different stages and places on the teeter totter, each moment as important as the last. From the highest to the lowest, each part of that journey is valuable and we’re always in perpetual motion. We all have different styles of pumping those legs, but together – we can find the middle. Most importantly, we ALL have value. We are ALL worth it and we should always remember that.
The Do unto Others angle
“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” - Matthew 25:40
This scripture has always stuck with me (okay mom, you can close the dropped jaw now.. Yup I really do remember scriptures ;)). Although there is a spiritual meaning and connotation, there is a profound every day meaning. We are all connected, humanity is deeply interwoven. Is it six degrees of separation between you and every other person on this planet? Six people connect you to every other person on this planet. What you do makes a difference. Send out goodness, you’ll get goodness. Never let anyone else make you feel intimidated or small because you’re not. You matter, I matter, and it matters, all of it.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Stay Away From the Edge
There once was a rich lord, who was in need of a carriage driver. He interviewed several potential drivers asking them all the same question, “The road which leads to my castle has many dangerous areas. On one stretch of that road there is a steep mountain on one side and a sharp drop-off into a canyon on the other side. If you were to be selected to drive my carriage, just how close to that cliff do you think you could get the carriage without going over the edge?”
The first man said timidly, “Well, I am a good driver! I suppose could get your carriage to within 6 feet from the edge!”
The second man said more confidently, “I am an excellent driver! I could get your carriage at least 3 feet from the edge!”
The third man said boldly, “None surpass me in excellence! I am sure I could get the carriage right up to the edge of the road without going over!”
But for all their professed skill, it was the fourth man who was hired
The fourth man had said, “Sir, if you would give me the honor and privilege of driving your carriage, I would stay as far away from the edge of the cliff as possible.”
The fourth driver was hired by the rich lord.
(Spencer W. Kimball) We must not yield to even the smallest temptations.
Serious sin enters into our lives as we yield first to little temptations. Seldom does one enter into deeper transgression without first yielding to lesser ones, which open the door to the greater. Giving an example of one type of sin, someone said, “An honest man doesn’t suddenly become dishonest any more than a clean field suddenly becomes weedy.”
It is extremely difficult, if not impossible, for the devil to enter a door that is closed. He seems to have no keys for locked doors. But if a door is slightly ajar, he gets his toe in, and soon this is followed by his foot, then by his leg and his body and his head, and finally he is in all the way.
This situation is reminiscent of the fable of the camel and his owner who were traveling across the desert sand dunes when a wind storm came up. The traveler quickly set up his tent and moved in, closing the flaps to protect himself from the cutting, grinding sands of the raging storm. The camel was of course left outside, and as the violent wind hurled the sand against his body and into his eyes and nostrils he found it unbearable and finally begged for entrance into the tent.
“There is room only for myself,” said the traveler.
“But may I just get my nose in so I can breathe air not filled with sand?” asked the camel.
“Well, perhaps you could do that,” replied the traveler, and he opened the flap ever so little and the long nose of the camel entered. How comfortable the camel was now! But soon the camel became weary of the smarting sand on his eyes and ears … :
“The wind-driven sand is like a rasp on my head. Could I put just my head in?”
Again, the traveler rationalized that to acquiesce would do him no damage, for the camel’s head could occupy the space at the top of the tent which he himself was not using. So the camel put his head inside and the beast was satisfied again—but for a short while only.
“Just the front quarters,” he begged, and again the traveler relented and soon the camel’s front shoulders and legs were in the tent. Finally, by the same processes of pleading and of yielding, the camel’s torso, his hind quarters and all were in the tent. But now it was too crowded for the two, and the camel kicked the traveler out into the wind and storm.
Like the camel, Lucifer readily becomes the master when one succumbs to his initial blandishments. Soon then the conscience is stilled completely, the evil power has full sway, and the door to salvation is closed until a thorough repentance opens it again.
We plead with our people everywhere, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7.) …
There may be some who have a general feeling of uneasiness because of world conditions and lengthening shadows of evil, but the Lord said, “… if ye are prepared ye shall not fear” (D&C 38:30), and again, “Peace I leave with you. … Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27.)
As Latter-day Saints we must ever be vigilant. The way for each person and each family to guard against the slings and arrows of the Adversary and to prepare for the great day of the Lord is to hold fast to the iron rod, to exercise greater faith, to repent of our sins and shortcomings, and to be anxiously engaged in the work of His kingdom on earth, which is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Herein lies the only true happiness for all our Father’s children.
Do not live on the edge.
Avoid, not only evil, but even the appearance of evil. ( Don't listen to it, don't watch it, don't think about it; walk away! )
Follow the counsel of Nephi to act for yourselves and not be acted upon.
Seek first the kingdom of God and receive the great promise that all else will be added unto you.
Follow the counsel of Church leaders.
My strong advice is, if there is any question about your personal conduct, don’t do it. It is the responsibility of prophets to teach the word of God—not to spell out every jot and tittle of human behavior. Our moral agency requires us to know good from evil and choose the good. If we are trying to avoid not only evil, but the very appearance of evil, we will act for ourselves and not be acted upon. (James E Faust)
I find it particularly interesting that Satan was referred to as "that old serpent," which is very appropriate. Much like vipers that hide in a camouflaged environment, so does Satan blend into the world unnoticed. That old serpent has been at work since the earth's beginning.
When a snake attacks, it is often unseen, quick, and fatal. There are several types of snakes; the ones that interest me are the constrictors, and the venomous. Constrictors grab their prey, encircle themselves around the victim, and then slowly squeeze the breath of life out of their captive.
Vipers inject a harmful or lethal venom into their prey. The toxic venom attacks the nervous system or the circulatory system. Various symptoms emerge depending on the poison released. One could expect great pain, nausea, paralysis, convulsions, shock, permanent tissue damage, heart attack, or possibly death, if untreated. Many times the damage will be disabling and permanent. In other words, one may never fully recover from a viper's bite.
Spiritually speaking, Satan, that old serpent, with temptation, hides in camouflage. Like a chameleon he is waiting patiently to attack mortal man. If he chooses to be a constrictor, he will squeeze the light of life out of his victim. If he chooses to be a venomous viper, he will inject the poison of sin into his prey. Symptoms will then appear: spiritual paralysis that halts one's eternal progression; toxic venom that eats away and rots the spirit of man. Ultimately, the result (if untreated) is always the same, the victim experiences spiritual death.
Prepared with patience, Satan's cunning process is usually custom made, gradual, methodical, calculated, and precise. The initial sin is usually small and subtle, perhaps unnoticed. It starts as a thought, then a bad decision, then an action. The sin grows larger and more frequent. The victim's spiritual eyes begin to close.
The adversary is a great counterfeiter. He makes sin and bad things look good. He is an expert at setting snares. He waits, lures, and entices towards his trap. Distracted by the bait, man is oblivious to the danger. Once caught in serious sin (the snare), the predator's attack is quick and abrupt. He now has control of the man. Man's agency is softly and quietly taken away as the sin then perpetuates itself. Man is now in a cold, dark, and lonely spiritual prison. (Lyle Johnson)
The first man said timidly, “Well, I am a good driver! I suppose could get your carriage to within 6 feet from the edge!”
The second man said more confidently, “I am an excellent driver! I could get your carriage at least 3 feet from the edge!”
The third man said boldly, “None surpass me in excellence! I am sure I could get the carriage right up to the edge of the road without going over!”
But for all their professed skill, it was the fourth man who was hired
The fourth man had said, “Sir, if you would give me the honor and privilege of driving your carriage, I would stay as far away from the edge of the cliff as possible.”
The fourth driver was hired by the rich lord.
(Spencer W. Kimball) We must not yield to even the smallest temptations.
Serious sin enters into our lives as we yield first to little temptations. Seldom does one enter into deeper transgression without first yielding to lesser ones, which open the door to the greater. Giving an example of one type of sin, someone said, “An honest man doesn’t suddenly become dishonest any more than a clean field suddenly becomes weedy.”
It is extremely difficult, if not impossible, for the devil to enter a door that is closed. He seems to have no keys for locked doors. But if a door is slightly ajar, he gets his toe in, and soon this is followed by his foot, then by his leg and his body and his head, and finally he is in all the way.
This situation is reminiscent of the fable of the camel and his owner who were traveling across the desert sand dunes when a wind storm came up. The traveler quickly set up his tent and moved in, closing the flaps to protect himself from the cutting, grinding sands of the raging storm. The camel was of course left outside, and as the violent wind hurled the sand against his body and into his eyes and nostrils he found it unbearable and finally begged for entrance into the tent.
“There is room only for myself,” said the traveler.
“But may I just get my nose in so I can breathe air not filled with sand?” asked the camel.
“Well, perhaps you could do that,” replied the traveler, and he opened the flap ever so little and the long nose of the camel entered. How comfortable the camel was now! But soon the camel became weary of the smarting sand on his eyes and ears … :
“The wind-driven sand is like a rasp on my head. Could I put just my head in?”
Again, the traveler rationalized that to acquiesce would do him no damage, for the camel’s head could occupy the space at the top of the tent which he himself was not using. So the camel put his head inside and the beast was satisfied again—but for a short while only.
“Just the front quarters,” he begged, and again the traveler relented and soon the camel’s front shoulders and legs were in the tent. Finally, by the same processes of pleading and of yielding, the camel’s torso, his hind quarters and all were in the tent. But now it was too crowded for the two, and the camel kicked the traveler out into the wind and storm.
Like the camel, Lucifer readily becomes the master when one succumbs to his initial blandishments. Soon then the conscience is stilled completely, the evil power has full sway, and the door to salvation is closed until a thorough repentance opens it again.
We plead with our people everywhere, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7.) …
There may be some who have a general feeling of uneasiness because of world conditions and lengthening shadows of evil, but the Lord said, “… if ye are prepared ye shall not fear” (D&C 38:30), and again, “Peace I leave with you. … Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27.)
As Latter-day Saints we must ever be vigilant. The way for each person and each family to guard against the slings and arrows of the Adversary and to prepare for the great day of the Lord is to hold fast to the iron rod, to exercise greater faith, to repent of our sins and shortcomings, and to be anxiously engaged in the work of His kingdom on earth, which is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Herein lies the only true happiness for all our Father’s children.
Do not live on the edge.
Avoid, not only evil, but even the appearance of evil. ( Don't listen to it, don't watch it, don't think about it; walk away! )
Follow the counsel of Nephi to act for yourselves and not be acted upon.
Seek first the kingdom of God and receive the great promise that all else will be added unto you.
Follow the counsel of Church leaders.
My strong advice is, if there is any question about your personal conduct, don’t do it. It is the responsibility of prophets to teach the word of God—not to spell out every jot and tittle of human behavior. Our moral agency requires us to know good from evil and choose the good. If we are trying to avoid not only evil, but the very appearance of evil, we will act for ourselves and not be acted upon. (James E Faust)
I find it particularly interesting that Satan was referred to as "that old serpent," which is very appropriate. Much like vipers that hide in a camouflaged environment, so does Satan blend into the world unnoticed. That old serpent has been at work since the earth's beginning.
When a snake attacks, it is often unseen, quick, and fatal. There are several types of snakes; the ones that interest me are the constrictors, and the venomous. Constrictors grab their prey, encircle themselves around the victim, and then slowly squeeze the breath of life out of their captive.
Vipers inject a harmful or lethal venom into their prey. The toxic venom attacks the nervous system or the circulatory system. Various symptoms emerge depending on the poison released. One could expect great pain, nausea, paralysis, convulsions, shock, permanent tissue damage, heart attack, or possibly death, if untreated. Many times the damage will be disabling and permanent. In other words, one may never fully recover from a viper's bite.
Spiritually speaking, Satan, that old serpent, with temptation, hides in camouflage. Like a chameleon he is waiting patiently to attack mortal man. If he chooses to be a constrictor, he will squeeze the light of life out of his victim. If he chooses to be a venomous viper, he will inject the poison of sin into his prey. Symptoms will then appear: spiritual paralysis that halts one's eternal progression; toxic venom that eats away and rots the spirit of man. Ultimately, the result (if untreated) is always the same, the victim experiences spiritual death.
Prepared with patience, Satan's cunning process is usually custom made, gradual, methodical, calculated, and precise. The initial sin is usually small and subtle, perhaps unnoticed. It starts as a thought, then a bad decision, then an action. The sin grows larger and more frequent. The victim's spiritual eyes begin to close.
The adversary is a great counterfeiter. He makes sin and bad things look good. He is an expert at setting snares. He waits, lures, and entices towards his trap. Distracted by the bait, man is oblivious to the danger. Once caught in serious sin (the snare), the predator's attack is quick and abrupt. He now has control of the man. Man's agency is softly and quietly taken away as the sin then perpetuates itself. Man is now in a cold, dark, and lonely spiritual prison. (Lyle Johnson)
Love, Deidi
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Rocks in the Pockets- May 11, 2012
In 1985 the New Era had this story. It goes hand-in-hand with our gratitude journal.
Pockets Full of Rocks by Larry Hiller
Malcolm Tent was still a young man when he began putting rocks in his pockets. It started one day when his boss, Mr. Gump, got angry at him for something that wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t yell back at his boss, because he might get fired. In fact, there wasn’t anything he could do except be angry inside. “But,” he thought, “I’m not going to forget this. no way.”
On the way home from the bus stop that night, he thought to himself, “I’ve got to remember how angry I am. I don’t want to forget in the morning.” Suddenly he had an idea. There was a small rock on the sidewalk in front of him. He picked it up and said softly to himself, “I’ll keep this rock in my pocket to remind me of how unfair Mr. Gump was.”
And that’s what he did. That night he put the rock on his dresser with his keys and comb. The next morning, when he got dressed to go to work, into his pocket went the ugly gray rock.
All that day and the next, the heavy bulge in his pocket reminded him that he should be angry at Mr. Gump. Strangely, Mr. Gump seemed to have forgotten about the whole thing. But not Malcolm Tent. Oh no. In fact, during the next two weeks, Mr. Gump made Malcolm angry several more times, and Malcolm decided he’d better get a rock for each time so he could keep better track of these things.
And so it was that Malcolm Tent’s trousers began to look baggy and strange. But at least he remembered not to forgive Mr. Gump or be friendly or anything like that.
Maybe if Malcolm had only collected rocks when he got angry at old Gump, this thing might have died out and been forgotten. But there was the taxi driver who drove right by and left Malcolm standing in the rain. Into his pocket went a shiny, rain-slick pebble from the gutter. (Of course, Malcolm had no idea of the taxi driver’s name, but it didn’t matter.) Then there was the grocery clerk who short-changed him. And the newspaper delivery boy who threw his paper into the lawn sprinkler. And the neighbor whose dog barked late at night. And … well, Malcolm discovered that there were all kinds of people and things in the world that can bother you.
Speaking of discoveries, Malcolm also discovered that when all of your pockets are full of rocks, a plain old belt won’t hold up your pants. (He discovered that fact while his arms were full of grocery sacks.) So he made himself a sturdy pair of leather suspenders to help hold up his pants.
But soon the time came when he didn’t have enough pockets in his pants, so he had to wear a jacket everywhere he went—the kind of jacket with lots of pockets. And it wasn’t long before the jacket looked as funny as his trousers. And smelled just as dusty. And got even heavier because it had more pockets.
Anyone else might have given up at this point, but not Malcolm. He bought one of those big sturdy briefcases like salesmen use. After all, when you start to look for them, there are all kinds of things in life that can bother you. And when you are always tired from lugging so many rocks around, you get angry even easier.
Years went by, and Malcolm’s collection of reminder rocks spilled out of his pockets and briefcase and all over his house. He had rocks on the kitchen sink, and in his closets, and all over the floors. A few times he even put a rock in his bed so he could remember to be angry during the night. Let’s face it. Malcolm had become a strange, unpleasant man. And most people avoided him when they could, which made him even touchier. Rocks are not very good company. They are hard and dusty, and in the winter they are very cold.
Now, Malcolm might have gone on to become a mean old man completely buried in rocks. But one day he received a phone call from a geology professor at the university. Dr. Igneous had heard of Malcolm’s large rock collection (who hadn’t?), and he wanted to bring his geology class on a field trip to see it.
“Well,” thought Malcolm, “at last here is someone who appreciates my rocks. Wait until they see all of these reminders of how often people have wronged me.” An appointment was made for the next Saturday, and Malcolm spent the next few evenings dusting and arranging.
At last Saturday came, and at two o’clock in the afternoon the doorbell rang. There, on the porch, stood Professor Igneous and seven of his best students, all dressed in their best field-trip, outdoor clothing. Several had rock hammers dangling from their belts, and one or two carried cameras. And everyone carried a notebook and pencil.
Professor Igneous himself looked rather ordinary. But he had a ready smile. And his face was deeply tanned from spending years out of doors. As a matter of fact, there was something about his eyes, too. They looked deep and dark, but they had a sparkle that said he enjoyed life. And when he looked at you, it was the same look he gave mountains and rock formations—as though he were trying to peer inside. This was a scientist who liked people at least as much as he liked rocks.
As the professor and students stepped into the rock-filled living room, Malcolm expected to hear oohs and aahs. You know, like you hear at a fireworks show. Instead, there was an uncomfortable silence. The group just stood there looking around, nudging a few of the rocks with their toes. Then the students looked at their professor, waiting for him to say something. After all, this was not the collection of beautiful gems and minerals they had expected. These were ordinary hunks of limestone and sandstone and quartzite. Why, there were even chunks of broken asphalt and concrete!
Finally, Professor Igneous spoke: “Ahem,” he cleared his throat. “Perhaps you would be so good as to explain your collection to us, Mr. Tent. I can honestly say we’ve never seen another collection quite like it.” In the background, his students nodded in agreement.
“Well,” Malcolm began nervously, “I, uh, well … that is. …” It had been a long time since he had said much of anything to anyone.
Professor Igneous could see how nervous Malcolm was. The poor man kept swallowing so hard his Adam’s apple was bobbing up and down. (Some of the students thought he was trying to swallow one of his rocks.)
Trying to help, the professor said, “Why not begin by telling us why you chose these rocks.” He picked up an ordinary gray rock that looked like most of the others. “Why did you choose this particular piece of limestone for your collection?”
“Oh, is that what it is? Well, I think that’s the one I picked up when the laundry didn’t have my shirts ready on time. Wait! No, I think that’s for the time my favorite TV show got canceled. Or was it the time I ran inside to answer the phone, and the caller had the wrong number? Or …” Here he paused to search his memory. There were so many rocks! And they were so much alike—gray, hard, cold, dusty. Suddenly, Malcolm realized that that was all Professor Igneous and his students could see. To everyone else these were just plain old everyday rocks. Malcolm had to explain, to make them see.
“There’s more to these rocks than you might think. Every one of these rocks represents a time somebody made me mad or hurt my feelings. I picked up these rocks as reminders.”
Now the professor and his students were really amazed. They all began to speak at once: “I never heard of such a thing.” “How long have you been doing this?” “Can I take a picture of you with your rocks?” “Some field trip!”
Professor Igneous spoke again, and everyone became quiet. “Well, Mr. Tent,” he began slowly, “I must admit you’re the first person I ever met who collected rocks for that reason.” He paused and looked around. “You’ve been very kind to invite us into your home. And we don’t want to take up too much of your time. But do you suppose that while we are here we might see your other collection?”
A blank look came over Malcolm’s face. “I don’t have any other collection.”
“Oh, I see. I just thought you might have collected something to remind you of the nice things people have done and said. But, well, never mind. Perhaps we ought to be going now. Thank you so much for allowing us to come into your home. I think my students have learned something important.”
He gathered his students around him, and they moved toward the door. Then, turning to Malcolm once more, the professor said, “We still have some time left this afternoon. Could you perhaps direct us to some of the other people with similar collections?”
Once more Malcolm was caught off balance. “I don’t know of any other collections like mine.”
“Oh. I just thought that perhaps some of the people you know would have collected something when you … I mean … if you ever … uh … annoyed them.” Then, quickly, he added, “Yes, well, good-bye, and thanks again.”
Without waiting, the professor and his students turned and marched off down the sidewalk.
Long after they were gone, Malcolm stood there, looking just like one of his rocks—cold and gray and very still. Within him, the professor’s words echoed. Around him, the house was silent. Too silent. He suddenly realized how pleasant the students’ friendly chatter had been. How long since he had had a friendly talk with anyone? Come to think of it, did he even have any friends anymore?
Then, before he could stop it, the thought came into his mind: “I’m becoming just like my rocks.” As Malcolm sat alone in the dark, he finally realized what unpleasant companions rocks are. And how unpleasant he … Well, some thoughts are hard enough to think without actually saying them.
For several days, for hours at a time, Malcolm sat still as a rock, thinking rock-hard thoughts. You might have thought he had finally become petrified. But deep inside him, something was waking up and beginning to grow, like a seed in the spring soil.
If you think it’s hard to find a home for kittens or gerbils or such, you should try finding someone who wants a bunch of very ordinary, dusty, gray rocks. In fact, just try gathering them up when they are scattered all over. Malcolm tried to hire cleaning ladies. They all told him the same thing: “I don’t do windows, and I don’t pick up rocks!” A “Free Rocks” sign in his window brought no results. Finally he realized that this was something he would have to do himself.
The neighbors still talk about the time Malcolm backed a rented trailer up to his front porch, and about the tremendous cloud of dust that rose as the rocks flew out into the trailer. They also talk about how much better Malcolm looks, how his clothes fit so much better (has he lost weight?), and how he actually smiles now.
Malcolm’s neighbors also point with pride to his attractive yard, with trees and flowers and bushes planted everywhere. They don’t have any explanation for his sudden interest in gardening. But one neighbor, Mrs. Kratz, did notice that after she had taken a piece of cake to him, Malcolm went out to the flower bed and planted a single seed.
Proverbs 16:32
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty: and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. Love ya! Vaughn
Pockets Full of Rocks by Larry Hiller
Malcolm Tent was still a young man when he began putting rocks in his pockets. It started one day when his boss, Mr. Gump, got angry at him for something that wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t yell back at his boss, because he might get fired. In fact, there wasn’t anything he could do except be angry inside. “But,” he thought, “I’m not going to forget this. no way.”
On the way home from the bus stop that night, he thought to himself, “I’ve got to remember how angry I am. I don’t want to forget in the morning.” Suddenly he had an idea. There was a small rock on the sidewalk in front of him. He picked it up and said softly to himself, “I’ll keep this rock in my pocket to remind me of how unfair Mr. Gump was.”
And that’s what he did. That night he put the rock on his dresser with his keys and comb. The next morning, when he got dressed to go to work, into his pocket went the ugly gray rock.
All that day and the next, the heavy bulge in his pocket reminded him that he should be angry at Mr. Gump. Strangely, Mr. Gump seemed to have forgotten about the whole thing. But not Malcolm Tent. Oh no. In fact, during the next two weeks, Mr. Gump made Malcolm angry several more times, and Malcolm decided he’d better get a rock for each time so he could keep better track of these things.
And so it was that Malcolm Tent’s trousers began to look baggy and strange. But at least he remembered not to forgive Mr. Gump or be friendly or anything like that.
Maybe if Malcolm had only collected rocks when he got angry at old Gump, this thing might have died out and been forgotten. But there was the taxi driver who drove right by and left Malcolm standing in the rain. Into his pocket went a shiny, rain-slick pebble from the gutter. (Of course, Malcolm had no idea of the taxi driver’s name, but it didn’t matter.) Then there was the grocery clerk who short-changed him. And the newspaper delivery boy who threw his paper into the lawn sprinkler. And the neighbor whose dog barked late at night. And … well, Malcolm discovered that there were all kinds of people and things in the world that can bother you.
Speaking of discoveries, Malcolm also discovered that when all of your pockets are full of rocks, a plain old belt won’t hold up your pants. (He discovered that fact while his arms were full of grocery sacks.) So he made himself a sturdy pair of leather suspenders to help hold up his pants.
But soon the time came when he didn’t have enough pockets in his pants, so he had to wear a jacket everywhere he went—the kind of jacket with lots of pockets. And it wasn’t long before the jacket looked as funny as his trousers. And smelled just as dusty. And got even heavier because it had more pockets.
Anyone else might have given up at this point, but not Malcolm. He bought one of those big sturdy briefcases like salesmen use. After all, when you start to look for them, there are all kinds of things in life that can bother you. And when you are always tired from lugging so many rocks around, you get angry even easier.
Years went by, and Malcolm’s collection of reminder rocks spilled out of his pockets and briefcase and all over his house. He had rocks on the kitchen sink, and in his closets, and all over the floors. A few times he even put a rock in his bed so he could remember to be angry during the night. Let’s face it. Malcolm had become a strange, unpleasant man. And most people avoided him when they could, which made him even touchier. Rocks are not very good company. They are hard and dusty, and in the winter they are very cold.
Now, Malcolm might have gone on to become a mean old man completely buried in rocks. But one day he received a phone call from a geology professor at the university. Dr. Igneous had heard of Malcolm’s large rock collection (who hadn’t?), and he wanted to bring his geology class on a field trip to see it.
“Well,” thought Malcolm, “at last here is someone who appreciates my rocks. Wait until they see all of these reminders of how often people have wronged me.” An appointment was made for the next Saturday, and Malcolm spent the next few evenings dusting and arranging.
At last Saturday came, and at two o’clock in the afternoon the doorbell rang. There, on the porch, stood Professor Igneous and seven of his best students, all dressed in their best field-trip, outdoor clothing. Several had rock hammers dangling from their belts, and one or two carried cameras. And everyone carried a notebook and pencil.
Professor Igneous himself looked rather ordinary. But he had a ready smile. And his face was deeply tanned from spending years out of doors. As a matter of fact, there was something about his eyes, too. They looked deep and dark, but they had a sparkle that said he enjoyed life. And when he looked at you, it was the same look he gave mountains and rock formations—as though he were trying to peer inside. This was a scientist who liked people at least as much as he liked rocks.
As the professor and students stepped into the rock-filled living room, Malcolm expected to hear oohs and aahs. You know, like you hear at a fireworks show. Instead, there was an uncomfortable silence. The group just stood there looking around, nudging a few of the rocks with their toes. Then the students looked at their professor, waiting for him to say something. After all, this was not the collection of beautiful gems and minerals they had expected. These were ordinary hunks of limestone and sandstone and quartzite. Why, there were even chunks of broken asphalt and concrete!
Finally, Professor Igneous spoke: “Ahem,” he cleared his throat. “Perhaps you would be so good as to explain your collection to us, Mr. Tent. I can honestly say we’ve never seen another collection quite like it.” In the background, his students nodded in agreement.
“Well,” Malcolm began nervously, “I, uh, well … that is. …” It had been a long time since he had said much of anything to anyone.
Professor Igneous could see how nervous Malcolm was. The poor man kept swallowing so hard his Adam’s apple was bobbing up and down. (Some of the students thought he was trying to swallow one of his rocks.)
Trying to help, the professor said, “Why not begin by telling us why you chose these rocks.” He picked up an ordinary gray rock that looked like most of the others. “Why did you choose this particular piece of limestone for your collection?”
“Oh, is that what it is? Well, I think that’s the one I picked up when the laundry didn’t have my shirts ready on time. Wait! No, I think that’s for the time my favorite TV show got canceled. Or was it the time I ran inside to answer the phone, and the caller had the wrong number? Or …” Here he paused to search his memory. There were so many rocks! And they were so much alike—gray, hard, cold, dusty. Suddenly, Malcolm realized that that was all Professor Igneous and his students could see. To everyone else these were just plain old everyday rocks. Malcolm had to explain, to make them see.
“There’s more to these rocks than you might think. Every one of these rocks represents a time somebody made me mad or hurt my feelings. I picked up these rocks as reminders.”
Now the professor and his students were really amazed. They all began to speak at once: “I never heard of such a thing.” “How long have you been doing this?” “Can I take a picture of you with your rocks?” “Some field trip!”
Professor Igneous spoke again, and everyone became quiet. “Well, Mr. Tent,” he began slowly, “I must admit you’re the first person I ever met who collected rocks for that reason.” He paused and looked around. “You’ve been very kind to invite us into your home. And we don’t want to take up too much of your time. But do you suppose that while we are here we might see your other collection?”
A blank look came over Malcolm’s face. “I don’t have any other collection.”
“Oh, I see. I just thought you might have collected something to remind you of the nice things people have done and said. But, well, never mind. Perhaps we ought to be going now. Thank you so much for allowing us to come into your home. I think my students have learned something important.”
He gathered his students around him, and they moved toward the door. Then, turning to Malcolm once more, the professor said, “We still have some time left this afternoon. Could you perhaps direct us to some of the other people with similar collections?”
Once more Malcolm was caught off balance. “I don’t know of any other collections like mine.”
“Oh. I just thought that perhaps some of the people you know would have collected something when you … I mean … if you ever … uh … annoyed them.” Then, quickly, he added, “Yes, well, good-bye, and thanks again.”
Without waiting, the professor and his students turned and marched off down the sidewalk.
Long after they were gone, Malcolm stood there, looking just like one of his rocks—cold and gray and very still. Within him, the professor’s words echoed. Around him, the house was silent. Too silent. He suddenly realized how pleasant the students’ friendly chatter had been. How long since he had had a friendly talk with anyone? Come to think of it, did he even have any friends anymore?
Then, before he could stop it, the thought came into his mind: “I’m becoming just like my rocks.” As Malcolm sat alone in the dark, he finally realized what unpleasant companions rocks are. And how unpleasant he … Well, some thoughts are hard enough to think without actually saying them.
For several days, for hours at a time, Malcolm sat still as a rock, thinking rock-hard thoughts. You might have thought he had finally become petrified. But deep inside him, something was waking up and beginning to grow, like a seed in the spring soil.
If you think it’s hard to find a home for kittens or gerbils or such, you should try finding someone who wants a bunch of very ordinary, dusty, gray rocks. In fact, just try gathering them up when they are scattered all over. Malcolm tried to hire cleaning ladies. They all told him the same thing: “I don’t do windows, and I don’t pick up rocks!” A “Free Rocks” sign in his window brought no results. Finally he realized that this was something he would have to do himself.
The neighbors still talk about the time Malcolm backed a rented trailer up to his front porch, and about the tremendous cloud of dust that rose as the rocks flew out into the trailer. They also talk about how much better Malcolm looks, how his clothes fit so much better (has he lost weight?), and how he actually smiles now.
Malcolm’s neighbors also point with pride to his attractive yard, with trees and flowers and bushes planted everywhere. They don’t have any explanation for his sudden interest in gardening. But one neighbor, Mrs. Kratz, did notice that after she had taken a piece of cake to him, Malcolm went out to the flower bed and planted a single seed.
Proverbs 16:32
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty: and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. Love ya! Vaughn
Moving the Rock- May 10, 2012
The message today was inspired by Deidi's comment yesterday.
When we lived in Springville, a young man in our ward (whom I thing was going on his mission) told this story.
This is a little long, but it will give you a chance to practice what Ryan taught us about...Enduring to the end.
A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might.
This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing it with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore, and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.
Noticing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, the adversary decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man’s weary mind. “You have been pushing against this rock for a long time, and it hasn’t budged. Why kill yourself over this? You are never going to move it.” Thus giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These troubling thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man. “Why kill myself over this?” I’ll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort and that will be good enough.
And that is what he planned to do until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his thoughts to the Lord. “Lord” he said, “I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even been able to budge that rock. What is wrong? Why am I failing?”
The Lord responded compassionately, “My friend, When I asked you to serve me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so?”
“Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven’t moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in my wisdom. This you have done. I, my friend, will now move the rock.”
At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is simple obedience and Faith in Him…
The callings we get might not be the ones we wanted. But they're the ones we needed.
Like Uncle Fred said. "It's simple, it's a four letter word, O B E Y."
I enjoy your comments and insight.
Thanks,
Love ya! Vaughn
P.S. I think that the rock had P90X written on the back side of it.
When we lived in Springville, a young man in our ward (whom I thing was going on his mission) told this story.
This is a little long, but it will give you a chance to practice what Ryan taught us about...Enduring to the end.
A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might.
This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing it with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore, and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.
Noticing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, the adversary decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man’s weary mind. “You have been pushing against this rock for a long time, and it hasn’t budged. Why kill yourself over this? You are never going to move it.” Thus giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These troubling thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man. “Why kill myself over this?” I’ll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort and that will be good enough.
And that is what he planned to do until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his thoughts to the Lord. “Lord” he said, “I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even been able to budge that rock. What is wrong? Why am I failing?”
The Lord responded compassionately, “My friend, When I asked you to serve me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so?”
“Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven’t moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in my wisdom. This you have done. I, my friend, will now move the rock.”
At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is simple obedience and Faith in Him…
The callings we get might not be the ones we wanted. But they're the ones we needed.
Like Uncle Fred said. "It's simple, it's a four letter word, O B E Y."
I enjoy your comments and insight.
Thanks,
Love ya! Vaughn
P.S. I think that the rock had P90X written on the back side of it.
Women are the Backbone- May 9, 2012
There is a story about four clergymen who were discussing the merits of the various translations of the Bible. One liked the King James Version best because of its simple, beautiful English.
Another like the American Revised Version best because it is more literal and comes nearer to the original Hebrew and Greek.
Still another like Moffat's translation because of its up-to-date vocabulary.
The fourth minister was silent. When asked to express his opinion, he replied, "I like my mother's translation best."
The other three expressed surprise. They did not know that his mother had translated the Bible. "Yes, she did," he replied. "She translated it into life, and it was the most convincing translation I ever saw."
I think good women are the backbone of our Father in Heaven's Plan of Happiness, teaching, caring, and setting an example for their families with love second only to our Father and Mother in Heaven and Jesus Christ. I didn't learn the gospel from my mother. I'm a convert. But because of her I found it. Love ya! Vaughn
Another like the American Revised Version best because it is more literal and comes nearer to the original Hebrew and Greek.
Still another like Moffat's translation because of its up-to-date vocabulary.
The fourth minister was silent. When asked to express his opinion, he replied, "I like my mother's translation best."
The other three expressed surprise. They did not know that his mother had translated the Bible. "Yes, she did," he replied. "She translated it into life, and it was the most convincing translation I ever saw."
I think good women are the backbone of our Father in Heaven's Plan of Happiness, teaching, caring, and setting an example for their families with love second only to our Father and Mother in Heaven and Jesus Christ. I didn't learn the gospel from my mother. I'm a convert. But because of her I found it. Love ya! Vaughn
A Mother's Countenance- May 8, 2012
A woman was left a widow with one child. She had a small home and a meager income. She took in washing for her principal support. One morning she call Clarence earlier than usual, saying: "Come now, son, you will have to get up. We have a larger wash than usual today. It will require a lot of wood." Clarence made no complaint but dressed and went to the woodshed where he cut a wood box full of wood. Then he wrote a note to his mother and placed it under her place at the table. When they came to breakfast the mother found Clarence's note which read as follows:
"Mother owes Clarence fifty cents for cutting wood box full of wood."
The mother's countenance fell for a moment and then she went to her small earnings and found the half dollar which she gave to Clarence.
There wasn't much said at the table that morning, but the mother thought a great deal as she worked throughout the day. The next morning Clarence found a note on his own breakfast place:
"Clarence debtor to mother for going down into the valley of the shadow of death to give him life - - nothing."
"For board and lodgings nine years - - nothing."
"For clothing, washing, and mending nine years - - nothing."
"Total - - nothing."
How much do we owe our moms? or our wives? who literally put their lives on the line to bring children into our families and bless our lives. And that's only the beginning of a long, long list. I have a lot of gratitude for the women in my life. Love ya all! Vaughn
"Mother owes Clarence fifty cents for cutting wood box full of wood."
The mother's countenance fell for a moment and then she went to her small earnings and found the half dollar which she gave to Clarence.
There wasn't much said at the table that morning, but the mother thought a great deal as she worked throughout the day. The next morning Clarence found a note on his own breakfast place:
"Clarence debtor to mother for going down into the valley of the shadow of death to give him life - - nothing."
"For board and lodgings nine years - - nothing."
"For clothing, washing, and mending nine years - - nothing."
"Total - - nothing."
How much do we owe our moms? or our wives? who literally put their lives on the line to bring children into our families and bless our lives. And that's only the beginning of a long, long list. I have a lot of gratitude for the women in my life. Love ya all! Vaughn
Love and Gratitude for Our Mothers- May 7, 2012
The other day I heard a guy on the radio talking about keeping a gratitude journal. I didn't hear very much of it, but I did hear him say that studies have shown that those who kept a gratitude journal were healthier, happier etc.
In Proverbs 23:7, it says: "As he thinketh in his heart, so is he..."
With Mother's Day coming up next Sunday, I thought I would challenge all of us to write in our journals or in a notebook each day this week of the love and gratitude we have for our Mothers, Grandmothers and wives. Write memories, stories, experiences, thoughts, feelings etc. And then on Mother's Day, share your gratitude verbally with them.
In Proverbs 23:7, it says: "As he thinketh in his heart, so is he..."
With Mother's Day coming up next Sunday, I thought I would challenge all of us to write in our journals or in a notebook each day this week of the love and gratitude we have for our Mothers, Grandmothers and wives. Write memories, stories, experiences, thoughts, feelings etc. And then on Mother's Day, share your gratitude verbally with them.
Love, Vaughn
The Best Marriage Advice- April 18, 2012
With the picture I asked, "What is your best marriage advise?"
I'd like to share what one man said. He said, " Instead of looking for "Mr. or Mrs. Right", try BEING "Mr. or Mrs. Right". I LOVE that. One woman said, "You have to work together. You have to have the same goals. It is a team mentality. If one fails, so does the other."
Marriage takes respect, support, encouragement, appreciation, friendship, and love.
Trent and I knew each other for a lot of years before we dated. We built our relationship upon a foundation of friendship. To keep that foundation strong we have been spending a lot more time doing interactive activities together and a lot less time doing passive activities (such as tv). We have been working out together (P90X), going on daily walks as a family when the weather permits, cooking meals together, praying together, reading scriptures together, and we have become scategories and uno champs! We even have been running errands as a family. Since we started focusing more on each other there has been less stress and a lot more laughter. It's made our home such a fun place to be. A few weeks ago I told Trent that I still wanted to date him. He laughed came up with a bunch of fun date ideas, most of which we can include Felix and Jack. I told him just cause we are married doesn't mean we have to stop dating, and it's so fun to include the family. We have always been happy together, but especially of late things have been SO great.
We know the Gulley family is so special and everyone already appreciates the importance of family time, but still, we encourage everyone today to plan a family date and share it with us.
We love you all!
Trent and Aspen
Testimonies- April 18, 2012
Sorry for the late start on messages this week, I'm on night shift and dont get off work til 2 am, so get used to it :) Love you all!
Today for our message we are going to share our testimonies with you.
We invite anyone who wants to share theirs throughout the day to do the same.
Love you all!
Today for our message we are going to share our testimonies with you.
We invite anyone who wants to share theirs throughout the day to do the same.
Love you all!
Aspen:
I remember the first and only time I ever bore my testimony. I was ten, sitting next to my Grandpa Boyd in sacrament. We often joked around, sending each other funny looks and whispering little secrets. Thinking back now I realise we probably weren't very reverent... and that day was the same as the rest. I remember elbowing his side. I teased, "I will share my testimony if you share yours." I was sure he wouldn't and that my ten year old self would have another reason to tease him. It wasn't until half way through his testimony that I realised he would hold me to my word. I wish I could remember what he said but all I can remember is being terrified that I was next. Talking in front of sacrament is a big deal when you're ten years old. I remember mumbling something that I thought I was suppose to say. I don't think I understood what exactly a testimony was. I hadn't been to church much and was just baptised a few months before. Honestly, I think the only reason I went to church was because I wanted to spend more time with my grandpa. It wasn't just church though. He was my favorite person to be around. He passed away four years ago and it's only as I get older that I am understanding the effects of his profound example.
So today, for the second time in my life, I will share my testimony with you.
I have a testimony of Heavenly Father's unconditional love, and how blessed I am.
I have an army of angels on my side. In these last days, through all my trials and triumphs, how blessed I am to know that Jesus is my Savior, my greatest friend. How blessed I am to have the Holy Ghost's influence guide and protect me. There is no greater gift than to have the gospel's influence in the lives of my family and me. We can go to the temple and be together forever, how blessed we are. I know the gospel is true and because of that I know purpose in this life and I will know purpose in the next life. How blessed I am. I know these things to be true and I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
I just want you all to know that kids might not remember everything you teach them, but they will always remember your example and your love for them. I testify that the effects of that example and love will forever change their lives.
I remember the first and only time I ever bore my testimony. I was ten, sitting next to my Grandpa Boyd in sacrament. We often joked around, sending each other funny looks and whispering little secrets. Thinking back now I realise we probably weren't very reverent... and that day was the same as the rest. I remember elbowing his side. I teased, "I will share my testimony if you share yours." I was sure he wouldn't and that my ten year old self would have another reason to tease him. It wasn't until half way through his testimony that I realised he would hold me to my word. I wish I could remember what he said but all I can remember is being terrified that I was next. Talking in front of sacrament is a big deal when you're ten years old. I remember mumbling something that I thought I was suppose to say. I don't think I understood what exactly a testimony was. I hadn't been to church much and was just baptised a few months before. Honestly, I think the only reason I went to church was because I wanted to spend more time with my grandpa. It wasn't just church though. He was my favorite person to be around. He passed away four years ago and it's only as I get older that I am understanding the effects of his profound example.
So today, for the second time in my life, I will share my testimony with you.
I have a testimony of Heavenly Father's unconditional love, and how blessed I am.
I have an army of angels on my side. In these last days, through all my trials and triumphs, how blessed I am to know that Jesus is my Savior, my greatest friend. How blessed I am to have the Holy Ghost's influence guide and protect me. There is no greater gift than to have the gospel's influence in the lives of my family and me. We can go to the temple and be together forever, how blessed we are. I know the gospel is true and because of that I know purpose in this life and I will know purpose in the next life. How blessed I am. I know these things to be true and I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
I just want you all to know that kids might not remember everything you teach them, but they will always remember your example and your love for them. I testify that the effects of that example and love will forever change their lives.
In a Fisherman's Language- April 17, 2012
Jim Arruda Henry learned to read at 92 years of age. He got tired of keeping his illiteracy a secret. He got tired of ordering off the menu what everyone else ate and paying his bills in person. He started by learning how to write his name, then he learned the alphabet. Now at 98 years of age, he wrote a book called, "In a Fisherman's Language." The book has become hugely popular and producers want the rights signed over so they can make his life story into a movie.
This story reminds each of us that we are never too old to learn, to set personal goals, and to reach those goals. Whatever it may be - getting into shape, spending more time with kids, picking up a new instrument, reading the Book of Mormon, I challenge each of you to set a personal goal and share it with the family. I want everyone to keep us updated on their goal as well. It's so fun to encourage each other. Often we find ourselves competing but it turns out we are all on the same team. We all want to see each other succeed.
Aspen's personal goal is to start playing the violin again.
Trent's personal goal is to work on habits, all habits including eating, exercising, the way I handle things, especially with my wife and son. I want to be the best husband and father I can be and i try to work hard at this daily, work on reading scriptures and attending church meetings, also my manner of speech and the media I watch and listen to. We all can improve somewhere no matter what it is, and lets start improving today. Love you all very much.
This story reminds each of us that we are never too old to learn, to set personal goals, and to reach those goals. Whatever it may be - getting into shape, spending more time with kids, picking up a new instrument, reading the Book of Mormon, I challenge each of you to set a personal goal and share it with the family. I want everyone to keep us updated on their goal as well. It's so fun to encourage each other. Often we find ourselves competing but it turns out we are all on the same team. We all want to see each other succeed.
Aspen's personal goal is to start playing the violin again.
Trent's personal goal is to work on habits, all habits including eating, exercising, the way I handle things, especially with my wife and son. I want to be the best husband and father I can be and i try to work hard at this daily, work on reading scriptures and attending church meetings, also my manner of speech and the media I watch and listen to. We all can improve somewhere no matter what it is, and lets start improving today. Love you all very much.
Scripture Power- April 15, 2012
We are so blessed to have the guidance of scripture.
Trent and I are going to share our favorite scriptures with you and we invite you to share your favorite on Groupme if you get a minute throughout the day.
Aspen's Favorite: D&C 50: 40-46
40 Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth.
Trent and I are going to share our favorite scriptures with you and we invite you to share your favorite on Groupme if you get a minute throughout the day.
Aspen's Favorite: D&C 50: 40-46
40 Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth.
41 Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me;
42 And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost.
43 And the Father and I are one. I am in the Father and the Father in me; and inasmuch as ye have received me, ye are in me and I in you.
44 Wherefore, I am in your midst, and I am the good shepherd, and the stone of Israel. He that buildeth upon this rock shall never fall.
46 Watch, therefore, that ye may be ready. Even so. Amen.
Trent's Favorite: 2 Nephi 4: 16-35
16 Behold, my asoul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and mybheart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.
Trent's Favorite: 2 Nephi 4: 16-35
16 Behold, my asoul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and mybheart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.
17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great agoodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O bwretched man that I am! Yea, my heart csorrowethbecause of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily abeset me.
19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have atrusted.
20 My God hath been my asupport; he hath led me through minebafflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
22 He hath confounded mine aenemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.
23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given meaknowledge by bvisions in the night-time.
24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty aprayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.
25 And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been acarriedaway upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.
26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath avisited men in so much bmercy, cwhy should my dheart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?
27 And why should I ayield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to btemptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my cpeace and afflict my soul? Why am Idangry because of mine enemy?
28 Awake, my soul! No longer adroop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the benemy of my soul.
29 Do not aanger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.
30 Rejoice, O my aheart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the brock of my salvation.
31 O Lord, wilt thou aredeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of bsin?
32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my aheart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I maybwalk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!
33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thyarighteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine benemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.
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